I Need an Overhaul for Christmas

My toenails are jagged.

My eyebrows are now one.

I’m too broke for the Spa.

And that ain’t no fun.


My options are limited.

My hair has split ends.

I’ve gained a few pounds.

And broke a few winds.


 I misplaced my self-confidence.

And found an extra chin.

I seriously need a die job.

I just can’t freaking win.


So Santa if you’re watching.

And don’t like what you’re seeing.

I could sure use an overhaul.

For my mental well-being.


I’d like a new wardrobe.

And body wrap to renew.

A wonder bra and a face lift.

Would make me smile, too.


You could send a personal trainer.

To help shape up my hiney.

And then provide a masseuse.

To rub sore places when I get whiney.


You could send me to London.

For some rest and relaxation.        

And I’ll need a lovely redhead.

For the hot sex while on vacation.


I’d like a watch from Cartier

And a bag from Louis Vuitton

And this year’s Superbowl?

Be nice if the Broncos finally won.


I’d like a box of wine for Rachel.

And some Belgian chocolate for Nan.

A ticket to Vegas for Vidya.

And for my sister?   A new man.


My list has been lengthy.

So I think that will do.

Thank you Santa and don’t forget.

To pick up a little something for you!


(Image by Google Images)

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