I Need an Overhaul for Christmas

My toenails are jagged.

My eyebrows are now one.

I’m too broke for the Spa.

And that ain’t no fun.

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My options are limited.

My hair has split ends.

I’ve gained a few pounds.

And broke a few winds.

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 I misplaced my self-confidence.

And found an extra chin.

I seriously need a die job.

I just can’t freaking win.

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So Santa if you’re watching.

And don’t like what you’re seeing.

I could sure use an overhaul.

For my mental well-being.

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I’d like a new wardrobe.

And body wrap to renew.

A wonder bra and a face lift.

Would make me smile, too.

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You could send a personal trainer.

To help shape up my hiney.

And then provide a masseuse.

To rub sore places when I get whiney.

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You could send me to London.

For some rest and relaxation.        

And I’ll need a lovely redhead.

For the hot sex while on vacation.

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I’d like a watch from Cartier

And a bag from Louis Vuitton

And this year’s Superbowl?

Be nice if the Broncos finally won.

      *

I’d like a box of wine for Rachel.

And some Belgian chocolate for Nan.

A ticket to Vegas for Vidya.

And for my sister?   A new man.

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My list has been lengthy.

So I think that will do.

Thank you Santa and don’t forget.

To pick up a little something for you!

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(Image by Google Images)

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